I don't know if it was just me, but when I was pregnant people used to say the most god awful things to me, I don't really know why but it was such a common occurrence I started to write them down. To clarify - that picture isn't me. I have hardly any pictures from when I was pregnant because I looked like a common garden troll.
- "Just wait..." - cheers for that
- Everyone seemed to have an opinion on feeding, they still do actually. "Oh my god you're bottle feeding? You do know that breastfeeding is better for them?" or "Oh my god you're breastfeeding? Why would you make a rod for your own back?" - the 'rod for your own back' brigade deserve a special shoutout in my opinion.
- "You look tired/horrendous" - again, cheers
- People also like to discuss your birth plans and rip them to pieces. "Oh she's having a cesarean you know, too posh to push", "you want a drug free birth? I had drugs what's wrong with having drugs?" - knob off, this is entirely up to you and any medical professionals involved.
- "Your bump is huge/tiny" - thanks for your clearly medical analysis
- "We didn't do that in my day" - boss, but times do change
- "You're getting bigger" - no shit, Sherlock
- "Should you still be working?" - and this concerns you why?
- "Was it planned?" - how rude
- "You're going back to work?!?!" - yes and I don't feel the need to explain my financial situation to you
- "Is it safe to stay vegetarian while you're pregnant?" - I got this one a LOT
- "I think it's a..." - now I know people are just being friendly here but hearing it multiple times a day really got on my wick, everyone was wrong anyway!
- Casual bump touching - now some people are allowed a casual bump touch e.g. my partner! but anyone else just bloody ask. It's weird and makes me want to touch your belly back to show you how freaky it is. When people don't even touch the baby region and it's just like "yep you are stroking my breakfast"
- "Oh I was sick all through my pregnancy" - not what you want to hear when you're stuck on a ward being treated for Hyperemesis Gravidarum
- "Have you tried ginger biscuits?" - I've obviously tried everything under the sun, shove your bloody ginger biscuits
- People treating you like an absolute imbecile because you don't know what things are. Yep it's my first time doing this and I don't think my baby or myself will suffer because I didn't (still don't tbh) know what pram shoes are.
- "Oh my husband never had any time off with me" - brilliant, mine did
- "You can't eat/drink that" - just to clarify this was a particular cheese, I wasn't going out on the razz.